Pro-feminist FAQ's
Frequently asked questions about pro-feminist
men and pro-feminist men's politics
(By Michael Flood, 30 January 1997. Please feel
most welcome to distribute this document.) from http://www.chebucto.ns.ca/CommunitySupport/Men4Change/prof.html
Who are pro-feminist men?
Pro-feminist men are men who are actively
supportive of feminism and of efforts t o bring about gender justice and
equality. Some pro-feminist men are involved in political activism. One
of the most common areas of involvement is men's violence, and there are
men's groups in Australia, the US , Canada, Europe and elsewhere who
have this as their focus. Pro-feminist men do anti-violence work with
boys and young men in schools, offer sexual harassment workshops in
workplaces, run community education campaigns, and counsel male
perpetrators of violence, just to name a few common activities.
Pro-feminist men also are involved in men's health, activism on
pornography, academic research on masculinity, the development of gender
equity curricula in schools, and many other areas. This work is
sometimes in collaboration with feminists and women's services (such as
domestic violence and rape crisis centres).
Other pro-feminist men are not active in public
campaigns. Nevertheless, their commitment to pro-feminism takes the form
of trying to live in egalitarian and respectful ways in their daily
lives - at home, at work and on the street.
What do pro-feminist men believe?
Pro-feminist men are sympathetic to feminist
understandings of society. We believe that women suffer inequalities and
injustices in society, while men receive various forms of power and
privilege. We believe that the current, dominant model of manhood or
masculinity is oppressive to women, as well as limiting for men
themselves. We believe that men must take responsibility for our own
sexist behaviours and attitudes and work to change those of men in
general. We see both personal and social change as vital.
For some men, their sympathy for feminism
revolves around a simple acceptance that men and women should be equal.
Women should have the access to jobs and areas of public life as men do.
For other men, being pro-feminist is about a passionate and profound
commitment which has changed every corner of their lives. For yet other
men, being pro-feminist is about a radical questioning of traditional
Western models of thought, of the ways in which these privilege
masculine ways of being and knowing. Some men's pro-feminism is informed
by contemporary feminist theory, while others' is informed by gut
feelings and conversations with their partners and sisters and mothers
and friends.
Just as there is substantial diversity and
disagreement within feminism, there is diversity among pro-feminist men.
One area of disagreement for example is over the extent to which men are
also limited or harmed by the gender relations of society. Some men
emphasise the privilege that men receive by virtue of being men in a
patriarchal or male-dominated society, while others emphasise the ways
in which both men and women are constricted by gender roles.
Some pro-feminist men argue that those who
emphasise the latter, or who even claim that like women men too are
"oppressed", are not really pro-feminist or are not
pro-feminist enough. Others make a distinction between "radical
profeminist" and "liberal profeminist" men, and emphasise
their shared commitments and similarities.
Pro-feminist men typically also recognise the
importance of other forms of injustice and other kinds of social
relations. We assume that class, race, sexuality, age and other such
things are important influences on the relations between and among men
and women.
Pro-feminist men who are politically active have
tended to concentrate on a number of specific issues, such as men's
violence. However, a pro-feminist perspective is applicable to and
relevant for any issue and any area of men's lives. For example, issues
of child custody and family law have usually been taken up by men who
are non-feminist or anti-feminist (such as "men's rights" and
"fathers' rights" groups), but there is no reason why they
cannot be taken up as areas pro-feminist men's activity too.
How do men come to be pro-feminist?
Men's pro-feminism is like any other set of values,
beliefs or political activities. It comes from deeply felt personal
experiences, from particular relationships and intimacies and loyalties,
from other ethical or political involvements and commitments.
An eloquent description of how men come to the
struggle for women's equality is given by radical pro-feminist John
Stoltenberg, in his book Refusing to be a Man:
"I'm thinking of those men whose feminist
convictions spring from loyalty to a particular woman in their lives-a
mother, a lover, a cherished friend-someone who has brought them to an
intimate, almost insider's view of what life for women is like under
male supremacy. These men have made a vow to stand beside her and not
abandon her, to wholeheartedly be her ally. For such men, loyalty to a
woman's life is experienced as a profound form of intimacy (not a
threat to selfhood, as it might be for other men)."
"I'm thinking also of those men whose
commitment to feminism draws on their own experience of sexual
violence or sexual abuse from other men, perhaps as a child or
adolescent. Somehow such men have not paved over what happened to
them; rather, they have recognised in it the same dimensions of
violence and abuse that women were mobilising to resist. So these men,
for their men whose advocacy of feminism derives from other sorts of
principled political activism. Coming from the perspective of their
pacifism, their anti-racism, or their commitment to economic justice,
for instance, these men have grasped the ideals of radical want it?
Now!
suffered the shame of growing up with a
sexuality that was not 'standard issue.' It was a sexuality that
longed for partnership and ardent tenderness; it did not stir at
dominance and coercion. It was a sexuality that set them apart,
whether with women or other men. These men have become, in a sense,
dissidents from the sex-class hierarchy in intimacy; and they are
gathering courage to defy that hierarchy beyond the bedroom as
well."
"I'm thinking also of those men whose
advocacy of feminism derives from other sorts of principled political
activism. Coming from the perspective of their pacifism, their
anti-racism, or their commitment to economic justice, for instance,
these men have grasped the ideals of radical want it? Now!"
Seriously folks, pro-feminist men want the same
things that feminists want: a world in which relations between men and
women are peaceful, egalitarian, trusting and joyous; in which neither
men nor women are confined into rigid, unhealthy and soul-destroying
models of living; in which the rigid division into masculine and
feminine has been repnists". This argument takes a variety of
forms, including the following: Feminism is a movement and a body of
ideas developed by, for and about women. Men can never fully know what
it is like to be a woman. By calling ourselves feminists, men run the
quot;, spiritualadical feminisms. And these days you can add at least
black feminism, lesbian feminism, poststructuralist and post-modern
feminisms, and much more.) Pro-feminist men share this same diversity,
drawing on or influenced by different strands of feminism. And this
diversity is evident too in the writings and theory of pro-feminist
authors
Why do you call yourselves pro-feminist and not
just feminist?
The simple answer is that it is inappropriate for
men to call ourselves "feminists". This argument takes a
variety of forms, including the following: Feminism is a movement and a
body of ideas developed by, for and about women. Men can never fully
know what it is like to be a woman. By calling ourselves feminists, men
run the quot;, spiritual and "mythopoetic" men, and
"men's rights" and "fathers' rights" men. There is
also internal disagreement within t his "movement", for
example with pro-feminist me-wing and socialist movements, anti-racist
struggles, and so on).
Does being pro-feminist mean that you are
anti-male?
No. We are anti-sexist, we are anti-patriarchal,
but we are not anti-male. Pro-feminist men are hopeful about both men's
anre is a potential for backlash within the men's movement, a potential
for the movement to turn towards the defence of men's privilege and
position, and some would say that this has already occurred. While all
pro-feminist men assume that men must act to dismantle gender injustice,
some argue that a "men's movement" is not the way to do this.
They advocate instead that we build alliances and coalitions with other
progressive groups and movements (such as feminism, gay and lesbian
liberation, left-wing and socialist movements, anti-racist struggles,
and so on).
Does being pro-feminist mean that you are
anti-male?
No. We are anti-sexist, we are anti-patriarchal,
but we are not anti-male. Pro-feminist men are hopeful about both men's
anchange and we support every man's efforts at positive change. We
recognise the need to build close relations and supportive alliances
among men, as part of the process of change. Some pro-feminist men thus
describe themselves as both pro-feminist and male-positive, or as
concerned with enhancing men's lives.
We assu's groups or the men's movement.
The only sense in which pro-feminism is
"anti-male" is that some pro-feminist men believe that we must
dismantle the whole system of dividing people into two "opposite
sexes", "male" and &qn get rid of no their oppressive
behaviour (such as violence) and can choose to change it.
Male-positivity is balanced by pro-feminism.
Being male-positive of course doesn't mean supporting whatever men do.
We have to retain a sense of ethics or values, and to assess men and
masculinities accordingly. To give a simple example, a violent
masculinity is unacceptable, because violence is ethically unacceptable.
And being male-positive is compatible with criticising oppressive or
destructive aspects of men's groups or the men's movement.
The only sense in which pro-feminism is
"anti-male" is that some pro-feminist men believe that we must
dismantle the whole system of dividing people into two "opposite
sexes", "male" and &qn get rid of notions of
masculinity and femininity altogether.
Are pro-feminist men usually gay?
Well, pro-feminist men include heterosexual, gay
and bisexual men. It's hard to say whether the proportion of gay men
among pro-feminists is any greater than the proportion in society in
general (which some people estimate at around ten percent), because no
one has done the research. On the one hand, men have often come to a
sympathy for feminism through their sexual relationships with women, and
this represents a specifically heterosexual path to pro-feminism. On the
other hand, gay men have sometimes been drawn to pro-feminism because of
their sense of distance from traditional masculinity or their
realisation of the links between homophobia (fear and hatred of
non-heterosexuals) and sexism.
Pro-feminist men, who often question traditional
masculinity or behave in non-stereotypical ways, are sometimes perceived
to be gay (whether they are or not) and attacked in homophobic ways.
This is an indication of the strange link often assumed in our society
between sexual orientation (who you are attracted to or who you'd like
to have sex with) and gender behaviour (conformity to notions of proper
manhood).
Many pro-feminist men believe that masculinity
is strongly molded by homophobia, the widespread fear of and contempt
for homosexual people, and the dominant model of masculinity is of a
heterosexual masculinity. We argue that homophobia and heterosexism (a
system of heterosexual privilege) represent injustices to
non-heterosexual people, and also constrict the lives of heterosexuals.
Men in particular find their emotional, social and sexual lives limited
by the fear of being perceived as gay. Growing up, men are faced with
the continual threat of being seen as gay and the continuous challenge
of proving that they are not gay. Homophobia leads men to limit their
loving and close friends not useful.
See above for some of the experiences and
commitments through which men come to a support for feminism and to an
anti-sexist politics.
Aren't you just motivated by guilt? (Or, is
pro-feminism about guilt?
No. Pro-feminist men believe that we have a
responsibility to try to change our own sexist behaviours and attitudes
and those of other men. We may sometimes feel guilty when we realise
that we have acted in hurtful ways, but staying stuck in this guilt is
not useful.
See above for some of the experiences and
commitments through which men come to a support for feminism and to an
anti-sexist politics.
Guilt can be part of a normal response when a
person is challenged or criticised about an inappropris and
relationships, rather than men adopting an "us against them"
model.
To summarise, pro-feminist men try to speak to the
experience of boys and men in such situations, but offer a different
interpretation of it and encourage a different resolution for it to
those in men's rights and anti-feminist ideology.
Where can I find out more?
XY magazine's web site has a wealth of articles
which embody various pro-feminist perspectives and issues. The site also
has links to other pro-feminist men's sites around the world. You can
find the site here
There is now a very good literature
on men and masculinity [Sorry, link lost 2003 Jan] A list of over six-thousand books and
articles, sorted into over thirty major subject areas.
Some of the best works on men and
masculinity are as follows: Brittan, Arthur 1989 Masculinity
and power, Oxford: Basil Blackwell
Clatterbaugh, Kenneth 1990 Contemporary
perspectives on masculinity: men, women, and politics in modern society,
Colarado & Oxford: Westview Press
Connell, R.W. 1987 Gender and power: society,
the person and sexual politics, Sydney: Allen & Unwin
Connell, R.W. 1995 Masculinities, Sydney: Allen
& Unwin
Cooper, Mick and Baker, Peter 1996 The MANual:
the complete man's guide to life, London: Thorsons
Edley, Nigel and Wetherell, Margaret 1995 Men in
perspective: practice, power and identity, London: Prentice-Hall
Edwards, Tim 1993 Erotics and politics: gay male
sexuality, masculinity, and feminism, New York: Routledge
Haddad, Tony (ed) 1993 Men and masculinities: a
critical anthology, Toronto: Canadian Scholars' Press
Kaufman, Michael (ed) 1987 Beyond patriarchy:
essays by men on pleasure, power and change, New York: Oxford University
Press
Kaufman, Michael 1993 Cracking the armour:
power, pain and tstview Press
Segal, Lynne 1990 Slow motion: changing
masculinities, changing men, London: Virago profeminist men respond to
the mythopoetic men's movement (and the mythopoetic leaders answer),
Philadelphia: Temple University Press
Kimmel, Michael and Messner, Michael (eds) 1992
Men's lives, New York/Toronto: Macmillan/Maxwell (2nd edition)
Mac an Ghaill, Mairtin (ed) 1996 Understanding
masculinities: Social relations and cultural arenas, Buckingham &
Philadelphia: Open University Press
May, Larry and Robert Strikwerda (eds) 1992
Rethinking masculinity: philosophical explorations in light of feminism,
Maryland: Rowman & Littlefield
McLean, Chris, Carey, Maggie and White, Cheryl (eds)
1996 Men's ways of being, Boulder, Colorado: Westview Press
Segal, Lynne 1990 Slow motion: changing
masculinities, changing men, London: Virago
Snodgrass, Jon (ed) 1977 A book of readings: for
men against sexism, Albion CA: Times Change Press
Stoltenberg, John 1990 Refusing to be a man:
essays on sex and justice, CA & Suffolk: Fontana/Collins
Stoltenberg, John 1993 The end of manhood: a
book for men of conscience, New York: Dutton
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