I have a colleague with whom I
disagree profoundly on a number of issues. Our whole theological methods are
at odds. Despite this, I like him and respect him. I can imagine situations
where I would say to someone, "Talk to X. He will understand where you
are coming from and will be able to support you better than I." I think
X could say the same.
I do not feel this about all of my colleagues. There are some for whom I
find it hard to have any respect, and in whom I could place no trust. Bitter
experience has taught me that to trust some Christian sisters and brothers
is to invite abuse. Some of these same people may well feel little or
no respect for me.
How then can we co-exist? More than that, how can we be the church together,
for this is more than mere co-existence, which may simply be to ignore each
other. We are called to work together. I do not pretend to have anything
like all the answers to these questions, but some of my working agenda is
below.
1. People are not
defined by an issue.
Shortly after Assembly 2003 I was sitting with friends in Sejuiced,
an SA Synod Office watering hole, having coffee with friends. A woman
entered, glanced my way and smiled tentatively. I waved and smiled
back. Mary Hawkes was obviously very tired, and looked a bit
depressed, although given that it was only 8am maybe she, like me, was only
half awake! I've thought about that smile quite a bit. Whatever our
differences, we are both part of the Uniting Church. It is her church
too. She is a person, who can be weary and distressed, just as I can.
She and I are God's people first. We are not defined by the
issue. I need to remind myself that when I was driving back to
Whyalla, ill and not sure if I would make it one night, I told myself I just
had to make it to Rod James' house at Port Augusta. And it was Rod who
debriefed me after I brought a raving and distressed man over to the Port to
a bus.
We are people first.
2. Be
as innocent as doves
We cannot afford to
descend below the behavioural standards of the Christ.
3. But be as wise as
serpents.
Being as innocent as doves also means being aware of evil- Jesus was not
aware of his racist nurturing until he met the Syrophoenician woman. Then he
instantly repudiated it.
We need to be aware of the ploys of evil. Be as innocent as doves, but do
not be naive. Be as wise as serpents,
4. Choose your wounding
There is nothing wrong with deciding when to take a stand, and when to
retire to fight another day. It is wise.
5. Require answerability-
minutes, agendas, standards, regulations. All these apply to those who want
to quickly get rid of gays... hold them to them!
6. Holy Boldness-
a) Call a spade a spade, do
it sooner rather than later.
b) "Play the ball, not the
man" - be aware s/he may play the man. This maintains your innocence, but also
denies their opportunity for self pity and counter-claims of unfair behaviour.
7.
Maintain the Spirit of
Unity
The ultimate is not correct
doctrine or complete agreement. The ultimate is healing relationships with
and through our love for the Divine.
8. Compassion- what pain or
fear drives you here? What drives the one with whom you disagree?
9. Dust off your feet.
Perhaps there comes a time to leave.
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