What is it to be happy? Do we set our sights too high in the search for some kind of meaning and fulfilment? Are we un-happy because we have learned we should have something it is not possible to have? Have we even been fed the idea that we will not be happy unless we have certain things?
What do we really want in life, and what does "happy" really mean?
A scratch list of "un-happy things" in life.....
I am in pain- physical, or mental
I am bored
I am not able to buy/get/have something I want
My relationship with someone is not working
I do not feel good about something
Life just does not feel good... something is missing or unsatisfying
And maybe we have been told for a long time that to be happy is not to have a life where boredom or pain or bad things happen. We'll never be happy if that's what we believe!
A scratch list of "happy" things....
I am engrossed in something, or entertained or diverted, so that I am not even thinking about sad or happy
I am feeling really good, excited, looking forward to and pleased with things
What I want is happening
Life is OK. There are bad things, but it's OK... I feel like there is some point to being here
I wonder if us men get so hooked into our work because it is diverting?
What do we mean when we say happy? To listen to some advertising, or watch the images of TV it means to be constantly filled with joy... always laughing... never with a problem... and having the perfect family. Doesn't happen too often...
I'm not talking about lowering my sights in the sense of accepting second best. But there is a case for lowering our sights about happiness if it means being real. Life never was as good as "the good old days", or as TV advertising says it should be.
There is a lot to be said for learning some contentment with what is, and what can be, instead of almost guaranteeing depression or burst of outrage because somehow we are insisting on a kind of life that can't happen. Us blokes often pride ourselves on being able to get on with life and not fart around... when we are unhappy, what is happening? Are we refusing to get on with life? This is not the whole reason for unhappiness, of course! But it sometimes pays to take a deep look at why we are unhappy.
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