A person reading the articles that follow, might wonder if I think men are the wronged victims in relationships. It is not so.
Men drive their female partners to despair, and are bizarrely illogical and impossible to talk with. Ask any woman! Men often have no idea how to listen, and can't talk about anything beyond cars and cricket... (or name any other concrete thing to which her man attaches more passion than her.) Men are also sometimes horrifically abusive.
Our society has changed dramatically in the lifetime of a 40 year old western man. His childhood training for life as a man is often inadequate to the task of today's relationships. It's a pain-full experience. What follows tries to look at the issue of relationships from the perspective of male experience. We hear a lot about what women suffer in relationships. The pain of the man is often un-acknowledged. He is often cast as the villain. He is subject to lampooning that would be unacceptable to use against women.
I do not seek to excuse men from their shortcomings and sins. We have a job to do. But we need to have our pain acknowledged.
And to be able to speak honestly about the shortcomings we see in our partners. Both men and women are wronged. And both of us are called to work for healing and growth in our relationships.
June 25 2001
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